#The yearning is clear
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S.S.S. Moment
Cause these two feed my soul. (Spoilers)
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Darcy's POV
"Iorda?"
"Yeah?"
Now or never.
"I cursed my planet."
I didnât look at her when the words came out of my mouth, and I was still in shock at how quickly I admitted it. But I knew that if I didnât say it so quickly, I wouldnât have said it at all.
Even though my eyes were at the horizon I could still feel Iordaâs gaze on me, watching and probably surprised at how out of pocket my words were. The light around us was dimming, and I felt a small amount of comfort at that through the guilt and fear that I always hated feeling.
âHow⌠long ago?â Iordaâs soft voice was something like a dagger, tearing open the barriers that wanted to stay upright.
I pursed my lips tightly closed, pulling my knees into myself but not enough to rest my chin on top of it. More than anything, I didnât want to seek too⌠hurt by this topic.Â
So⌠impacted by it.
âI was a child,â I answered simply.
A child who had her life ruined just because she had a connection to Liliss. It couldâve happened to someone else, I think. Liliss could have chosen anyone else with a portion of her magic and given them the rest, making them a perfect tool to use.
Iorda paused once again. âAnd⌠Whatâs your planet?â
I wanted to tell her about the good things about Zenothe that I remembered from when I was a child. That during the day the sky was a warm gray, but when the sun set the entire area would be surrounded by an inky blackness that made it so that candles or magic lights had to be used to see.
I wanted to tell her that when it rained there, everyone would come out of their houses to enjoy the weather. I still remember racing out of the house as a childâa year before I had ruined everything I hadâwith my moms behind her, laughing as I turned my face up to face the rain.
âZenothe, butâŚâ I started, knowing the name of the planet wouldnât do much.Â
Another memory resurfaced, one of the Ancestors forcing my sisters and I to go back to Zenothe to cast a barrier spell so that no one could go in along to wipe the memories of all who remembered it. I was screaming to Liliss in anger and resentment as the three of them showed us through the spell, but I had casted it regardless.
âYou⌠wouldnât know it,â I finished, looking off the side and hoping that I didnât look too bothered for it to be obvious. âLiliss helped us cast a spell. No one remembers it.â
âExcept you and your sisters?â Iorda asked tentatively.Â
âYes. Icy actually made a bet with me to tell you this,â I explained.
We were silent for a while, but I knew that Iorda probably had a lot of questions flying through her head. I didnât know how many of them I wantedâor was ableâto answer. Truth be told, Icy didnât specify how much I had to explain. I could stand up and walk away if I wanted to, but I didnât move from my spot for a reason I couldnât explain.
âWhat⌠happened to Zenothe?â Iorda asked, her posture becoming less tense. âNo matter what it was Iâm not going toââ
âI donât want you to pity me,â I corrected, turning to look at her with a pointed look that was more calm than I wanted it to be. âI donât care if you judge me for what happened, and if anything, I welcome it.â
âWell, I wonât do either,â Iorda said with a slow nod.
She was waiting for me to speak and wasnât going to pry even further. That made things difficult because I had to decide what to say or not say. If she asked specific questions maybe that would have made things easier. I waited for a moment to see if sheâd do so.
Silence.
Wonderful.
âI cursed it because I didnât know what to do with my magic,â I started tightly, resisting the urge to curl into myself even though it could be a small comfort. âSheâŚâ It hurt that I couldnât say her name at first, even though deep down I knew it wouldnât do anything horrible if I did. âLiliss, gave me more than I could handle at the time.â
I waited for something from her. Some sort of surprise or horror, but more so surprise because I knew cursing my planet was hardly the worst thing I had done. Iorda was still silent, and I was done caring an obnoxious amount at that point, so I pulled my legs in and rested my chin on them.
âThen it wasnât your faultâŚâ Iorda said slowly. âIt was herâs.â
I didnât answer that.
âDid she⌠do it on purpose? Give you too much magic so that something bad would happen?â Iorda asked, glancing to her side at me. I could see she was looking at me, but I didnât meet her eyes
It surprised me at first how closeânot even close, she just didâshe got to guessing what happened before I remembered that she herself had a short interaction with the Ancestors. Back on Ovrumâsomehow, the topic once again turns to that like last time we were talking in this hellscapeâsheâd seen how furious the Ancestors were after Icy opened the bud of the new Tree of Life.
I repressed a shiver as I remembered how it felt to have my body possessed like that. I wouldâve taken mind control even, instead of feeling by body contort and rot at having a centuries old spirit inside it.
I was so lost in thought that I didnât realize Iorda was still waiting for an answer.
âSheâŚâ I swallowed an ache. âShe knew what she was doing.â
âDarcy thatâsâŚâ Iorda said, taking a deep breath. âIâm⌠Iâm so sorryââ
âNo pity, please,â I sighed tiredly.
âItâs not pity, Iââ
âItâs you feeling sorry for me because of my misfortunes,â I interrupted, my voice too worn to be angry. With a deep inhale, I moved my hair that was spilling over my shoulders to my back, standing up as I did so. âThat is pity.â
What surprised me was that Iorda also stood up, leaving the bag full of crystals back on the ground. She gave one last look at the horizon before glancing behind me to where Tecna and Musa wereâboth of them presumably continuing their earlier tasksâbefore looking back at me, and the way her eyes looked sad and somehow a bit angry brought some sort of hurt.
âBecause you went through something,â Iorda said plainly.
âA long time ago,â I said, forcing a shrug of indifference.
âYou were a child, Darcy,â Iorda said, and the fact that she said it as if it was something I didnât already know was annoying in a way. âYou were a child who⌠who had to go through something like that, andâŚâ
âTechnically, you were also a child when we tried to kill you the first time,â I said matter-of-factly before realizing how that sounded, though Iorda only gave me a deadpan look.
I regretted saying anything, because now she was concerned, and I didnât want that. At least in Icyâs caseâas she had told meâBloom quickly dropped the topic when Icy had asked her to, but unfortunately with Iorda I doubted she would give me the same sentiment. I was unsure whether I was truly annoyed at her concern, or if I just didnât like being so revealed to her.
But I had told her.
With a sigh, I turned around. âIâm going to see if your friend needs help with the tracker.â
âNo, youâre not,â Iorda said.
With a pauseâthe fact that she said that was a surprise on its own, and even more when I remembered how much she was being as stubborn as she was during the first yearâI glanced behind me. She wasnât glaring and she didnât have that expression of pity.
More like genuine concern, which somehow tore me open more.
âExcuse me?â I raised a brow, my words coming across less annoyed than I wanted them to.
She stilled for a moment, and I didnât prompt her to speak. I was surprised she didnât let me walk away, and a part of me wondered why she was still continuing with this conversation.
âOne, I wasnât a child when you three tried to kill me. I was sixteen, and it wasnât⌠it wasnât something like having that happen to your planet,â Iorda explained after she had gotten past her silence. âThe Ancestors were⌠shitty and they caused what happened to Zenothe. You didnât.â
âButââ
âA child wouldnât have been able to do anything against a basically god-like entity,â Iorda interrupted, her words gentle and not harsh.Â
The point I had tried to make earlier was that I was sixteen when Zenothe fell. Iorda was also sixteen when she came to Magix, and got involved in the war of the Army of Decay. I didnât see why she would care so much about that happening to me when, truly, she had also been through things no child deserved to go through at the time.
But I realized how innocent I was on Zenothe.
I couldâve continued going to school with my few friends, enjoying life with my family, and celebrating the large number of festivals and celebrations year after year.
I couldâve had a life like thatâŚ
âYou shouldnât have had your childhood taken away from you like that,â Iorda said, taking a slow step closer. I didnât step away, and instead I turned around when I felt a burning in my eyesâone that was becoming too familiarâto try to bury it, because I wasnât going to cry. âItâŚâ
âI wasâŚâ I bit back the ache in my chest, crossing my arms in front of me with my back turned to her. âI was⌠sixteen. I shouldâve been able to deal with that; to control the magic.â
Iorda went silent at that. I could tell she was taking in this information and connecting it, maybe to her own experiences, but I didnât care. Or maybe I did and I just didnât want to. My feet were planted to the ground, and I still couldnât bring myself to walk away even as I felt a tear leak out of my eyes.
I didnât move to wipe it away.
âThatâs still a childâŚâ Iorda said slowly.
âYou were still a child,â I said, the words clawing themselves out of my throat.
I could hear Iorda take another step forwards, my back still turned to her. Part of me, the small part of me that was still damaged, welcomed this feeling of telling her. But most of myself just hated the tears and wanted to turn the topic back to herself and not me.Â
There was a tentative brush at my hand, and I thought back to that time in the clearing.
I gripped her hand before I realized how much I needed it.
âYou were, too,â Iorda said.
The combination of her words, the way she said themâas if she understood this, and in a way, I knew she actually didâand the pain that continued to build in my chest was something that caused something to break. I choked on a buried sob as I sighed out a trembling and uneasy breath, not realizing how my nails dug into Iordaâs hand, yet she didnât pull away.
I moved a hand to my face to brush away tears even as more continued to fall, and it was like I could feel all the hurt of my past self screaming. She was scraping at the wall that I had always tried to put up, and each blow brought a new current of pain.
âDo you want to sit down again?â Iorda asked gently.
I forced in a breath before nodding.Â
There was so much pain that I wasnât even thinking of seeming weak. I let Iorda help me sit on the ground againâstill gripping onto her hand as if it was a lifeline, because in some strange way, it wasâas she sat back down next to me.
I had the thoughtâI wanted toâjust pull my knees in to curl myself in a protected form, because maybe that would make it seem like I was still in control again and that my walls hadnât completely shattered. But the same moment I had the thought I felt myself leaning my head against Iordaâs shoulder, and she paused for a moment before squeezing my hand reassuringly.
âIâm sorryâŚâ I said, and my words wouldnât have been audible if Iorda wasnât this close.
âYouâre⌠allowed to cry, you know,â Iorda said softly, moving her free hand to rest on my shoulder that wasnât resting against her. âItsââ
âNo Iââ I said, biting back another sob. âIâm sorry for this. I ruined your life, IââÂ
I knew that part was true, and the guilt hit me hard. The guilt I thought I had gotten rid of. Here I was talking about how Lilissâand, maybe, my own mistakesâled to the destruction of my planet, while I had done worse things to the girl who was somehow willing to not walk away and leave me to my sobbing state.
It was sickening.
âI ruined my own life,â Iorda insisted.
âYouââ
âIf I stayed at Cloud Tower, I wouldâve been happier. If I used negative emotions, I would have felt like myself instead of having to fake being sure of who I am for seven years of my life,â Iorda explained, and I waited for her to pull away, while she still stayed as close as ever. âI donât blame you.â
âI killedââ
âYes, but Iâm alive,â Iorda interrupted, and part of me felt like strangling her for how much she was doing it and how I knew she was right on all accounts deep down. âJust⌠focus on you, okay?â
I opened my mouth to talk against what she said once more before I bit my lip to bury another ache, gripping her hand tighter as I let out a shuddering sob. Dragon, I didnât remember the last time I had cried this much. It hurt, but at the same time, getting comfort like this was a feeling I was learning not to hate as much as I did when she first held my hand.
I knew she wasnât going to let me blame myself or walk away, so I felt my tense body relax as her hand moved across my shoulder repeatedly. My nails dug into her hand a little less as I found the ability to breathe clearly again, but I didnât want to move away from this.
âWhatâŚâ I breathed out slowly, moving my thumb absently across her hand, my head still against her shoulder. âWhat were you going to do, before you came to Magix?â
Iorda paused, still continuing the small movement of her hand as she looked back at the sky. âI actually wanted to study psychology. Become a therapist or something like that.â
I snorted, half smiling. âYouâd be good at that.â
âIâm glad, thanks,â Iorda said, and although I was still looking down at the ground, I could guess that she would be smiling slightly. âWhat did you want to do?â
I paused slightly. At sixteen I didnât have a clear idea of what I wanted to do in life, and if anything, I was simply focused on trying to get my magic under wraps and help out my moms and their friends in their unstructured covenâhealers, and potion makersâas much as I could. But a fond member I had was sitting at the kitchen table, absorbing books of older forms of witchcraft.
âI⌠didnât know,â I answered tiredly. âI researched some about old witchcraft, and that was as much of a passion for something I had back then.â There was a pause, and I briefly felt some confusion coming from Iorda. âThe kind you would have practiced on Earth.â
Iorda paused before sitting up straighter, and I leaned away from herâthe small part inside me missed the physical comfortâand took my grip away from her hand. She narrowed her eyes at the horizon before glancing at me with a half smile.
âWell, I still need to track Cloud Tower,â Iorda said before gesturing to her bag of crystals. âAnything about old witchcraft that you know that would come in useful?â
I knew her intentions behind what she was doing, and I gave her a half amused and half annoyed look. âIf youâre asking me this because of pityââÂ
âWe need to track Cloud Tower, you know what youâre doing,â Iorda said, giving me a half smile. She crossed her legs over themselves. âTecna is still working on the tracker, so I need all the help and knowledge that I can get.â
I could tell she was purposefully bringing about this conversation, even if she did truly need help with tracking Cloud Tower. Tecna couldnât help her, and I doubt Musaâs knowledge of witchcraft was enoughâif she had any, for that matter. Deep down, it felt sort of pleasant in a way. Being asked to help in a situation where it is needed.
The small glimmer in her eyes reminded me of the few times we had non murder-intented banter in the past, and I felt the remaining ache in my chest leave before I gave her a half smirk. âWell, now youâre just stroking my ego at this point.â
âGood,â Iorda said, returning my half smirk. âBut firstâŚâ
She reached inside her back for a momentâand I paused, confused about what she was planning to doâand rummaged around until she grabbed something. I watched as she pulled a small crystal out of the bag, something that I recognized as a small, sharply cut stone of pink tourmaline.Â
Iorda placed the stone in between us before glancing up. âTo us healing from the past.â
It was as if we were having a toast of some sorts, and in some way, it was. She was speaking in a language both of us understood; one of having experienced past events of pain and the deep wounds that come with that, and the need to heal. Part of me still felt like I couldâve done more to stop what Liliss did to Zenothe, butâŚ
I gave a smile that was somehow not forced as I placed my hand on the crystal. âTo us healing from the past.âÂ
This wasnât typical magic of summoning and casting, creating something out of thin air. It was something that was intuitive and smaller, channeling our intentions into something usually so small and insignificant to most.
I remembered what I saw in the doorway before Aria and her sisters had appeared. My sisters and everyone else in Magix City under the night sky, laughing and smiling, and deep in my eyes I could tell that I was happy. It was reassuring.
That if the doors were right, I would heal
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Half an hour later there were two stones clutched in Iordaâs hand, one for receiving in the left hand, and one for giving in the right. Labradorite and amethyst respectively, the first to connect Iorda to Cloud Towerâs energy, and the latter to increase her psychic magic to lend it outwards to the school to communicate with it.
âDo you know what the psychic space is?â I asked, still seated next to her.
She was sitting with her legs crossed over each other, eyes closed to block out any distractions. Her eyebrows were pressed downwards in focus, her body steadily rising and falling with every slow and constant breath. It was good that she knew how to do that much, because otherwise getting focused would be more than difficult.
âThe outside area between your mind and someone elseâs,â Iorda finished, eyes still closed as she spoke. âWhere psychic magic moves across.â
âExactly,â I said, one of my arms hanging over my knee. âYou have to reach over that space in order to find Cloud Tower, and keep the focus you have while doing that.â
Iorda breathed in slowly. âNegative emotions?â
I could tell from her voice that she was hesitant, because up until now she had little to no luck in using negative emotions to track Cloud Tower. It wouldâve seemed useless, though I had to wonder about how much of it was because of her inexperience, or if it was because of her hesitance.
âYes,â I answered. âYour main emotion is vengeance right?â
Iordaâs steady breathing paused for a moment as she slightly opened her left eye, looking at me quizzically. She wondered how I knew that, and I gave her a half smile in response.
âYou were very close to killing me during that situation with Kalshara,â I responded, not with irritation. âIt was hardly something difficult to figure out when you had murder in your eyes.â
Iorda snorted slightly. âIââ
âKeep focusing,â I interrupted, smirking slightly as Iorda rolled her eyes with a small smile before closing them again. âAnyways, yes, your magic will work better if you use vengeance for an emotion instead of whatever you have been forcing yourself to use for the past seven years.â
âFulfillment,â Iorda answered.
âSounds depressing, but stop talking,â I said, and the corners of Iordaâs lips tilted up again in a small smile of amusement. âYou have to focus.â
This somehow felt easy, even with the circumstances that we had to find Cloud Tower. There were so many people in there who would be confused and frightened about what happened. I briefly think that theyâll probably be even more terrified if my sisters and I showed up again, but as long as we could at least communicate with Griffin about the Shaman Witch that would be a possibly beneficial situation.
âYou asked me a question,â Iorda mumbled humorously before I saw her breathing rising again at a constant pace again.
âAn open-ended statement,â I corrected with a small bit of amusement in my voice, before I decided to focus on the task at hand. She didnât respond to that, and I could tell that she was focusing again. âFocus as much as you can on that vengeance; who you want to hurt, or pay.â
Iorda opened her mouth to speak before stopping herself, but I could tell that she was probably thinking of the Shaman Witch based on how her hands clenched tighter around the two crystals. She breathed in again, her pace less constant, before it evened out again.
âThat vengeance isnât going to hurt you,â I reassured.
âI knowââ
âFocus,â I reminded calmly, and Iorda breathed in shakily for a moment before her shoulders relaxed. She hadnât used negative emotions in this long, and with what she said about feeling like being in her past selfâs body, I could understand why she was hesitant. âTell me when youâve found it.â
She wouldâve known I didnât mean Cloud Tower and that I meant when she finds a hold on her vengeance. If her dedication to it is fleeting, her psychic magic would act the same away. To keep up a spell across the psychic space between herself and Cloud Tower up for so long would take more focus than usual.
A moment passed, and I briefly felt when she found a hold on her need for vengeance; quicker than I expected her to find it. There was anger, and a need inside her to make the Shaman Witch pay for what she did to her.
âYouâve found it?â
She nodded.
âImagine the energy of the labradorite moving into you, and the amethyst moving out,â I continued to explain. âAnd when you can focus on that without thinking, imagine your psychic magic forming a thread.â
Iordaâs breathing became only slightly labored as she gripped the crystals tighter.
âRelax,â I reminded. âYour psychic magic wonât respond unless you do.â
It took a bit longer until I could see Iorda physically relax again, her breathing becoming deeper and fuller. Calmer. It was clear she was regaining focus. Then her shoulders relaxed and her eyebrows became less furrowed, with a small content smile going across her face. I knew that she was focused and calm enough in order to form a connection with her own psychic magic.
I smiled slightly to myself, knowing how long it mustâve been since she used that side of her powers, and deep down, there was a small sense of pride. After all these years she was willing to use the emotions she was meant to use, and to use her psychic magic that she seemed hesitant to reach.
âImagine that thread reaching out, and find Cloud Tower,â I said, and Iorda pursed her lips slightly at that. âYou know what it feels like, so find it. You learned there. It appreciates your presence. Youâre going to find it.â
I was concerned for a moment that my encouragement came off too harshâeven though I knew without self-assurance it would be impossible for her to track the schoolâbut it seemed to work as I felt her psychic magic increase. It was something I didnât even have to focus to feel, though then again, it wasnât as if I was putting up active barriers in my mind at that moment.
Iorda continued to focus, and I kept myself silent.
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About fifteen minutes of silence passed, and Iorda was still as focused as she was when she started reaching out with her magic. She was as still as a statue besides her breathing, and I took that as a good thing.
Her eyes flickered open.
âWhat is it?â I asked, voice rising in anticipation.
âIâŚâ Iorda started, eyes widening slightly in disbelief. âI⌠found it.â
I felt rope rise within me. It wasnât as if I doubted that Iorda would find it, but I didnât think sheâd do it this quickly and successfully, knowing how bad our luck had been lately. She let go of the crystals in her hands and placed them on the ground, slowly breathing in as she got out of the meditative state.
âYou found Cloud Tower?â I questioned, eyes widening.
âY-yes Iââ Iorda said, smiling as she quickly stood up. She gestured to the right of the horizon, stuffing the crystals back in her bag that she swung over her shoulder. âItâs that way! But dragon, I actually found it!â
I chuckled slightly as I stood up. âI never doubted you.â
Iorda narrowed her eyes at the horizon where she had gestured to, practically shaking from excitement. This would have been the first time she used her psychic magic with negative emotions in a while, and to see her so happy over this was heartwarming in a way.
âThank you,â Iorda turned towards me, smiling. âThank you so, so much, you have no idea.â
I paused slightly, mildly put off by that. Not the way she was thanking meâI knew it did help her with the spell and focusing, even though most of that was on her own accordâbut of how⌠appreciative she looked. It wasnât an expression I was used to seeing.
âItâŚâ I said, shrugging. âItâs fine, Iââ
I expected a lot of things. For Iorda to move on and race over to tell Tecna and Musa about the newfound information, for her to see through my dismissal and argue against it, but what I didnât expect was for her to take a step forwards and hug me of all things.
It was loose enough that I couldâve pulled away, her arms only softly wrapping around me, but I surprised myself when I didnât. For a moment it was if all the guilt suddenly left, because Iorda was fucking hugging of all things me when Iâve tried to kill her before. She seemed to relax a bit more when she realized I wasnâtâsomehow, for some reasonâannoyed or tensing at the gesture.
Instead, I leaned into the embrace.Â
It felt like I needed it.
Maybe even for years.Â
âThank youâŚâ Iorda said, her voice barely a whisper.
I listened to the tone of her voice carefully. It was a mix of relief and something of acceptance. I realized that after years of pretending to be someone else this mustâve been such a breath of fresh air for her, as if coming out of water and finally being able to breathe.
It was something of an honor to be a part of that.
âAnytime,â I said in the same soft tone, pulling back slowly from the embrace and resisting the urge to make it last longer than it needed to be. I half smiled, and part of me felt how, unlike the others, this one was forced. âNow, let's go tell Tecna and Musa.â
Iorda nodded before turning and walking towards where Tecna and Musa were seatedâthe latter seemingly giving up on watching enemies that were absent. I paused for a moment, breathing in deeply as I moved my hair behind her shoulders before I followed.
Musa and Tecna stood up immediately when we walked over, the latter holding the tracker that had a few more buttons and wires added than the last time I saw it. Of course, it had been almost an hour since I left to see how well Iorda was faring.
âDid you find it?â Musa questioned, eyes widening.
âYes!â Iorda smiled, and Musa let out a cheer of excitement as she tightly hugged Iorda. âItâs just towards where the thin patch of cloud is, and I donât think it's too far.â
I smiled slightly as I walked next to Tecna, her watching the exchange with an excited look on her face. If things went well by the tracker, then she could communicate to the other group our location so that they could follow us.
âDid things go well?â Tecna asked, glancing to her side at me.
I paused for a moment. âI think so.â
#winx club#trix winx#winx club fanfiction#winx darcy#winx#These two feed my soul#The yearning is clear
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I can't believe I decided to read orv on a whim because I just wanted a good manhwa with no romance subplot and here I am knees deep into the novel questioning my whole life because whatever these mfs have got going on is much more nastier and visceral than any romance.
#so much pining and aroaceness it just loops around into the irresistibility and the kind of devotion you see in knights from a period drama#âI shall forever rue the day I lay mine eyes on thy sunlit visage so just this once allow me bask in thy mercy like a sinnerâ type of shit#being so obsessed w someone to the point where the yearning gnaws at your insides#is infact THE quintessential part of the homoerotic experience#ig it's clear that i lose my mind reading this novel#which is both good and concerning at the same time#orv#omniscient reader's viewpoint
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Vi before seeing the banners outside
Vi after
Sis is mad bro...
#arcane vi#vi arcane#arcane#yearning my ass tf did she become livid enough to punch a mirror for#im scared#ppl talking about whos side they will take in the divorce and yeah i would pick vi anyway#kiramman crest done pissed her off#and its a clear sign that martial law has gone into effect#like yesh pretty good reason to be mad if ur gf is possibly becoming tyrannical and working with expansionists
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If anyone needs me I'll be fawning over trans men for the next [checks calendar] couple thousand years
#or until i get a trans boyfriend#to be clear I'd be happy with a cis guy too#im just really gay today#gay#mlm#mlm sfw#gay yearning#mlm thoughts#mlm yearning#ftm t4t#t4t#t4t sfw#your honor trans men are so handsome
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Aquatic
#niigo again (cuz they are my rats in my brain) also Mizuki again (cuz she is a rat in my brain)#I did mention Charming learning aquatic on my fandom blog yearning to draw it. but then my mind was cleared (and my crops watered) so yeah#I did plan a additional doodle but nah that one wasn't the right amount of silly#enjoy or something#art#my art#doodle#project sekai#prsk#hatsune miku colorful stage#wof#wings of fire#prsk wof au#mizuki akiyama#mafuyu asahina
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Hira + ăă
#utsukushii kare#my beautiful man#1x01#1x03#1x06#hira kazunari#gifset#*brace's#//#one of the first things Hira tells the audience about himself is that he struggles to use the word âlikeâ#because of his speech impediment#and becauseâ as he admits to himselfâ there's nothing he REALLY likes. nothing he finds âbeautifulâ.#nothing so interesting or so moving as to get that word out of him#but at the end of that same episodeâafter meeting Kiyoiâhe voices out the word#quietlyâ in secret#but as he doesâ he recognizes the feeling is there. he recognizes its tangibilityâ like nothing he had felt before.#the first time he confesses how he feels to Kiyoiâ he's just as surprised as him#he didn't need to make an effortâ because he had no intention of saying it. the word just stumbled out.#something out of his controlâmuch like the feeling it represents#his attempt to restrain it resulted in a screamâ yearning to be heardâ to be accepted#and when he realized it wasâ not only acceptedâ but welcomed#he confessed with much more confidence than beforeâloudâ clearâ and certain#no stutterâbut then againâ neither was it present any other time#when it was about what he feels for Kiyoi
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taigen blueeyesamurai: [exists]
me: humiliate and torture that man some more âźď¸âźď¸âźď¸đŁď¸đŁď¸đŁď¸đŁď¸
#to be clear i am his pr manager đ#and AS a taigen liker i'll say it again: TORTURE THAT MAN!!! MAKE HIM SUFFER PHYSICALLY EMOTIONALLY AND SPIRITUALLYâźď¸âźď¸âźď¸âźď¸#this isnt sarcastic btw i really and truly want him to suffer like yall do not get it#taimizu where taigen suffers and pines and yearns and feels sick to his core from remorse >>>>>>>>#blue eye samurai#taigen#taimizu#fandom.rtf#shut up haydar#releasing this from my drafts#be free!!!!
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#i'm gonna throw up#i honestly can barely look at the page for Go Loud 2 because i love them so much and i get so emotional over it#also to be clear: this is NOT paul slander. it is campaldulcie yearning hours ONLY#okay you can throw tomatoes at me now#tlt#palamedes sextus#camilla hect#dulcinea septimus#paul tlt#nona the ninth#the locked tomb#sex pal#dulcie septimus#paul#nona the ninth spoilers#my tlt thoughts
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simple like 2019: a carlando edit
#crucially: when the lyrics say âsimple like 17â please change that to âsimple like 2019â in your head#aka carlando's first year together#there were originally subtitles on this making that clear but i didn't like the way they looked so i removed them#but that was my spark of inspiration for this edit#a yearning for the simplicity of a more youthful past#lando norris#carlos sainz#carlando#formula 1#f1#f1 edit#my edits*#scenepack: wilmonisgod on tiktok
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thinking about peter parker tonight <3 its missing him hours
#to be clear (and no disrespect to other peters) this is about tasm!peter#always him#peter parker#tasm!peter#tasm!peter parker#peter parker x you#it is yearning hours
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Femmes, mascs, fems, butches.
Maybe it's the tgirl brain but presentation just isn't that important to me.
What's really attractive about a girl is that they're comfortable and confident in their presentation.
Boy in a girl way? Enby? All of those things? None of them? Cool.
Does it make you happy? Yes? Do you want head about it?
#monamumbles#monamoans#lesbian#trans#wlw#sapphic yearning#lesbian nsft#sapphic nsft#wlw nsft#fem4all#switch4switch#this is NOT a condemnation of lesbians who have a specific preference#thats how brains work#thats cool#this goes double for people specifically looking for a femme or butch where the cultural heritage is important to them#this IS a condemnation of people who pressure others into certain characteristics or behaviours to better fit their label#or who micro-police how people identify#if they identify as a girl / woman / lady in good faith? thats a girl#if they identify as a lesbian in good faith? thats a lesbian#all of this applies to women and lesbians who do not use she/her pronouns if that wasnt damn clear#UGH I just love women#and people who get gender with it
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will they wonât they is annoying when itâs young people but sexy with old people and thatâs why adama and roslin are unmatched
#no shade to leland and kara#battlestar galactica#âarenât u a john/aeryn stanâ first of all the show makes a point of driving home thay theyâre like approaching middle age#both of them had serious long term relationships that Simply Didnât Work Out#but also i think they left will they wonât they the first time they fuck aksjdj like#itâs very clear they WILL in fact they ARE RIGHT NOW#whereas laura & bill are getting high & gossiping and teeheeing after they kiss like theyâre clearly Circling around something#while john and aeryn jumped INTO that shit#i actually donât know how old mary mcdonald is iâm assuming sheâs a bit younger simply bc ejo is Super old heâs just well preserved#anyways nothijg is sexier than OLD PEOPLE YEARNING (to fuck)
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I feel this needs to be said so
Ofius and Declan, the Giant and the Hallewell both have heavy undertones of worshipful types of love, so let me explain their differences in the most metaphorical way, take your own meanings
Ofius is the lost one who was brought into the light. A keeper of his humans temple. He found this place when he had nothing. The light from inside beckoned him into a fulfilling life there. He keeps the temple clean, repaired, and cared for. He is the gentle worshiper
Declan is the bloodied sinner who carved an altar from stone with claws and fangs. His and the blood of others stains his hands and stone. He would carve out his organs as offerings but will never allow another close enough to see this place. He is the selfish reverence
#letters of yearning#hope this cleares things up#Ofius the Giant#Declan the Hallewell#what can i say i love powerful creatures who act like pious worshipers#love both versions too
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i need nct mark lee like burnt toast desperately needs jam
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I genuinely remain confounded by the two sides to the Tech debate in this fandom. I've seen so many people on the Tech Lives side proclaim that they will be attacked, or insulted or made fun of for their ideas, all while they argue that those who see Tech as dead do so only because they want him dead since he's "autistic".
I've seen people on the Tech is Dead side go out of their way to comment unnecessarily on people who want him back with their beliefs on his death. This is unnecessary, just as it is unnecessary for those who believe or want Tech alive to make assumptions about those who believe the opposite.
That multiple people believe that is why someone may believe he's dead is confounding. The idea that Tech may be dead is not predicated on a hatred for autistic people, or autistic like characters. It isn't malicious for people to either want him alive, or to have accepted his death.
Frankly, it is tiring how the main focus of Tech's entire being since season two is that he died, and he's potentially autistic (The Crossing included, he never has been outright confirmed as such). He is so much more than that, and deserves to have people focus on him aside from just his death.
Curate your fandom experience by muting words or tags that may upset you.
#As a fan of Tech (which should be clear if anyone's read my fics) I'm so tired of this being the sole topic for Tech#It wasn't malicious intent to have him die just because he could be autistic#People aren't out here yearning for his death just because he's potentially autistic#Be polite to people on either side#Do not interact with one side if it upsets you into believing ideas about that side without actual communication with that side#Tech stans have become very tiring#I miss him of course but the way his fans have reacted and treated people within the fandom since season two has made it tiring to engage#Then that does not even include all the drama from both sides of the ship he's potentially part of#It's all turned very exhausting even when I've muted all terms related to this entire discussion#If the fans could think of more than just his death so often that would be nice
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I MISS HIM SO MUCH IâM GONNA CHOKE đđđđđđđđđđđđđđđđđđđ
#MY PRECIOUS MOST BELOVED ANGEL I LOVE YOU SO#iâm clearing out my google docs and i found fics i wrote for him back in 2021 HDJDJS#AND NOW IâM YEARNING đđ#fun fact he was my first anime crush ever . i think about him all the time#my sweetest baby i want to hug him
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